I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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