Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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