My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
