we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
