I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
