He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
