If that was your dad, he is hot
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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