Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
