and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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