we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Someone shattered a urinal.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
