Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
