I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
