Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
