Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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