No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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