Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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