I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
