How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
