hell yes lets make some ravioli
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
