4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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