So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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