Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
