Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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