Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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