I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
