babies were throwing up all over the place
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
