I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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