So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
