New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
