I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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