Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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