So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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