you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
