I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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