i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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