Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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