get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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