What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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