O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
