I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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