I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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