ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
PANTIES FOUND
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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