but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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