Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
