You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
