i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
