I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
