she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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