I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
