when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
