U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
